To Vote You Must Stick Your Hand into the Hollow Stump
by Korey Hartwich | August 31, 2012
Across the nation, corporate-backed politicians are disenfranchising millions of Americans with manipulative voter identification laws aimed at tilting elections in their favor. They claim it’s to stop voter fraud, but NYU’s Brennan Center for Justice says “one is more likely to be struck by lightning than to commit voter fraud.”
Sometimes political humor can get to the point of ridiculous policies or politics in a way that straight news doesn’t. Like when Jon Stewart of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show pokes fun at Wall Street’s greed and manipulation.
Now the satirical newspaper The Onion has a new piece up underscoring how ludicrous these new voter ID laws are:
Restrictive Voter Laws On The Rise
This year 41 states have introduced at least 180 bills that would reduce voting, whether by requiring an i.d. at the polls, curbing registration drives, or limiting early balloting. Critics argue these measures are aimed at disenfranchising the young, minorities, and the poor. Here are some of the more controversial laws under consideration:
Nevada: Polling places will no longer supply ballots; voters must bring their own
Ohio: Voters must present valid Republican Party membership card
Tennessee: All registered voters must show up at polling areas with at least one normal-looking coworker who promises that voter is cool
Kentucky: Polling place staffed by voters’ high school girlfriends and boyfriends
Alabama: Voters required to correctly guess the number the voting inspector is thinking of
Arboria: To be deemed worthy, potential voters must complete the Rite of Passage ceremony by sticking their hands into the hollow stump
Oregon: Voters have to give five reasons why voting actually matters
Minnesota: Each voter must devise one new voting restriction for next person in line before being allowed to enter booth
It’s funny because it’s true. Read a little more about one AFSCME member who is fighting back one voter registration at a time.
